This year I decided to really step up my game in business, by getting my very own bank account just for my art and it's been so much fun. Okay, so I haven't been that business savvy, because I did have to file an extension for taxes (again) after waiting until the last minute (again) to find that nothing was even organized (again.) BUT I'll figure all that out. I'm sure.
Anyways, back to that fun part... Having my own account for business expenses has made it a lot easier to discover and buy art supplies that I adore.
One of my favorite things to do is wander the aisles of the art store freely and really look into which tools I would like to play with.
I've been having the most fun with watercolors, pens and water-soluble pencils. I literally can't tear myself away from the sketchbook sometimes... I'm having too much fun.
some of my morning fire side sketches
It's been hard to tear myself away from my sketchbook lately, which is a pretty big deal, because as an artist it sometimes takes weeks to gather the guts to even pick up a brush.
I absolutely LOVE the look of the water soluble pencils mixed with pen and water colors, it's next to impossible to fully remove the hand-made-ness of it.. and I love that.
I love to still be able to see the hand that created something. I love to see the rawness, and the authenticity of the hand marks, brush strokes and the way the colors all run together.
I remember something my ex told me when I first started painting more and blogging. He saw a painting of mine, (one of my perriots) and told me it was too cartoony, too corny, the eyes were too big, if it wasn't realistic, no one would want it.
But, if I wanted realism, I would have taken a picture! I don't want "real." (what is that anyways?)
I want art.
To me, art is ugly. Art is dripping. Art is raw and heart felt. Art is scribbles, splatters, and scratches. Art is chaos.
Art is not the final picture, it's about the process of finding the picture and feeling the story behind it. It's not ever about reproducing an image in it's perfect form, but about creating something new, looking and seeing from a different side of things.
Art is about engaging in the deepest part of ourselves. Our creativity is our most sacred gift.
It's been a lot of fun filling up sketchbook after sketchbook, because for years I would beat myself up for not drawing, or painting "often enough."
It was only when I let go and decided to just start having fun and learn new things that I started to really engage in my creativity. (and coincidentally I became the boring hermit, scribbling in a sketchbook who never leaves the cabin.)
This was for the #artvsartist challenge going around on instagram. It was fun gathering art pieces throughout the years and lining them all up around an image of me. It really made me think.
We struggle for years to find our voice and define our style as artists. We try all sorts of different styles, methods, subjects and tools... and in that process, and we are left with an overwhelming variety in our work, and an underlying fear of what will bridge it all together? How will all of those paintings, processes and pieces ever relate?
The answer is the artist. The creator. It's within the hand of the artist. The artist is what bridges it all together.
What a beautiful process of trust that is. You must continue to create, and blindly trust in yourself that it will all make sense one day.
Blind, beautiful, unapologetic self trust. That's what art is. To me anyways.
p.s. stay tuned for a shop update tomorrow! I've got tons of new work to show you.