"Though her soul requires seeing, the culture around her requires sightlessness. Though her soul wishes to speak it's truth, she is pressured to be silent." -Clarissa Pinkola Estes (Women Who Run With The Wolves)
I don't have very many words right now. In fact, I haven't had any for a little while.. I've been working on this post for a very long time now, it's been weighing very heavy on my soul.
Nothing has really been making any sense lately, has it.. Everything feels so fast and fleeting, I don't know if I should even try sometimes.
I think what it comes down to is the feeling of being unheard in general. Feeling powerless. I don't mean that I'm feeling lonely or that none of my friends listen to me, I think it's just been a general feeling of powerlessness. Especially with the new presidency and how things have been transpiring..
I can't believe the ugly underbelly of America that has revealed itself over this last year. It's like we have gone back in time in many aspects, or perhaps it's shown us that we haven't moved forward enough at all.
Nearly everyone I know and myself included are feeling fearful and apprehensive of the future. Many of the friends have expressed they feel totally and utterly powerless..
I know that women have been raised to feel extra powerless for centuries. I believe that this is the main reason our planet is in the turmoil it is.
Hundreds of years ago women were treated as property. She was passed straight from her father to a husband. She was a daughter, sister, a mother. Being smaller, she was thought weaker, less capable. She didn't have the right to own land, she could not vote, and in many cases she could not even seek divorce. The Man of the House, his word was law.
I know that we have come very far since those times, but it's like this one sticky thing has lingered on and is oozing in through the cracks... That man's word is law.
Men are seen as more powerful in our society. That their say is more important than than what a woman would have to say.
It's not that all men are evil and do this on purpose. But we weren't born this way. We were brought up this way. Because our parents were brought up this way.
Many people will say power is in strength or size. It's the ability to be commanding and domineering. The loudest one in the room. It's an admirable trait.
But when a woman or a girl does act on her own innate power, she is told she is too aggressive. Too intimidating. Too Loud. Bossy. What a bitch.
We live in a society with rigid gender roles that are programmed in since birth.
Not only has this manifested in almost every interaction in life, but it has sadly shown up in every single relationship I have been in.
It's left me feeling powerless in an abusive marriage. I watched people walk away from me because they felt undermined by simple questions. I've watched huge reactions happen, over small assumptions, when male ego and pride were in the way to ask a simple question.
But this isn't even about my own personal story.. it's not just that this is "unfair".. It's not just the surprising statistics of rape, domestic abuse, murders against women that happen each day...
This is down right dangerous and fatal to our existence as whole. This power imbalance is effecting the lives of everyone. The earth is suffering, the animals are suffering.
Because of this imbalance in power our world is where it is at.
The fact that women have no say in government, our own reproductive rights, the future of our Earth is the reason that we are on the edge that we are on.
And I cannot and will not stand for it any longer.
Have you reached your breaking point? I think we all know. Enough is enough.
Why is this so important to me?
I am a part of the 1 out of 6. I was sexually abused for years when I was child. I was later in an abusive marriage. Both of these painful experiences taught me a very important lesson.
When it's time to call in my own personal power and how to do it.
I wish I had the answers on how we as a nation can take our power back, but I think this is something that needs to be done internally first.
Before we can establish any balance in the world, we must first find the balance within ourselves.
We must first call our own power personal back.
We must first begin to stand up for ourselves. Speak up. Speak out. The only true hero we could ever ask for is ourselves..
We must first release the idea that physical strength or size denotes power.
Power is the ability to act. It is our Will, and our ability to act on it.
We choose to give our power away daily when we tune into the media. When we listen to things like "you can't." When we stay silent. When we don't ask questions. We give our power away when we blame others, or ourselves, when we complain about our circumstances. We take our own power away by putting our happiness onto others rather than taking responsibility ourselves.
By taking our personal power back we begin to take control of our own lives. The way it's meant to be.
Here are 3 simple but powerful ways you can begin to take your power back.
LOVE and understand yourself. This one seems like a given, but it is sometimes very hard to do. When your personal power has been taken away, self esteem, confidence, and bravery also seem to be missing. It's hard to not hate yourself when you feel powerless. Because the one taking your power has also manipulated you into thinking other horrible thoughts about yourself.
But take small steps each day if you have to. Show yourself love. Laugh at your own jokes. No one is ever going to love you the way you can love yourself. No one is ever going to comfort you the way you can comfort yourself. Our self love is our true power.
Set your boundaries and stick to them with fierceness. No is a complete sentence. It needs no further justification. For the love of self, don't say yes to anything unless it brings you utter joy. Find your personal integrity. Get to know yourself by spending time alone. This will make the next step easier.
Remove any limiting beliefs and fears. Limiting beliefs hold us back from our true potential. You've heard people tell you that you can't do something or that you shouldn't do something before. You've had limiting beliefs cast on you since you entered this world. It doesn't matter your gender here. You have been fed limiting beliefs since day one.
Removing them takes time and practice. They are used to keep us powerless as they control our thoughts and behaviors.
But a belief is just a thought we keep thinking. Not all beliefs are true, and over time with conscious effort, we can shift our beliefs and shift our lives. This one takes conscious effort to understand just how powerful you truly are as a being.
Stand Up! For yourself and others. Like sticking to your boundaries, stand up for what you believe in, and stand up for yourself. Don't give in to victim or martyr mindsets from yourself or others. Even though they may feel real, don't rob yourself of your personal power by dwelling in that space. If you are being treated poorly, speak up about it. If you see other's being treated poorly, stand up and say something.
Get out and protest peacefully. Join a cause. Speak against violence and harassment when you see it. Stand up for others and stand up for yourself. When you stand up for others, you give everyone watching a voice and a new platform for the future.
Now isn't the time to just not be racist or sexist. It's time to be anti-racist, anti-sexist. The time has come to be irreverent, and to stand up for what you know to be true.
All great change first begins from within.
What methods or advice do you have when it comes to taking your personal power back?
I'll be attending tomorrow's Women's March in Park City wearing one of the many pink Pussy-Hats I knitted and sent out to fellow marchers.
Are you joining in any protests?
Stay safe and peaceful and grab back. ;)